Happy Tuesday y'all! It's Day 2 of a week-long series I call, Sunshine Seven Ways.  This week,  I'm embarking on a daily effort to add a little more sunshine to my life with a few simple suggestions. Any idea what Suggestion #2 might be? 

Suggestion #2: Say Thank You

It's the simplest two words one can mutter. My mother (a.k.a. Mama Rizz)  instilled these two words  in me ever since I could open my mouth. I can still hear her saying, "Now what do you say to the nice lady?" to which I always replied "Tanks" to whomever did or said something kind. 

Today, "thank you" goes much further than thanking the nice man for the nickel he placed in my palm. There are so many ways to say thank you. Here are just a few:

- Send a handwritten note to someone 
- Cook a loved one something special 
- Leave a little scribble on someone's desk at work
- Pick up the tab for a generous friend
- Call someone at random and thank them for being in your life
- Say it. Often. For the smallest of gestures. To all people. 

I could go on ad infinitum but there is a much larger practice at hand which I wanted to talk about too.  That is, an  "attitude of gratitude" and it has profoundly changed my view on life. 

             "I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." 
             ~ G.K. Chesterton

 Happiness doubled by wonder!!?! Whoa, that's a whole lotta goodness! 

 Gratitude is  "thank you" supersized. It turns words into actions.  It is the  genuine appreciation for all things and it can be cultivated in many ways. Below is one simple way to add gratitude to your life today, this very moment, on this beautiful first Tuesday of May. 

Write a Gratitude List-  A gratitude list is simple way to ensure a happier day. It kicks off a glass half-full mentality that you can pair with a smile and step out into the world with cheer.  Wanna try it? List ten things that you are grateful for on this day. I'll go first...

1. I'm grateful to wake up to man who loves me, loves me, loves me and listens to me, listens to me, listens to me. 
2. I'm grateful for this healthy body which endured a ridiculous no-mercy workout this morning. Yowza! But, thank you. 
3.  I am grateful for the food in my fridge and the plants in my garden. Without them, I would not be nourished. 
4. I am grateful for the freedom to be able to do what I love everyday(write, think, read, create). 
5. I am grateful for the people who need help because they so often end up helping me. 
6. I am grateful for my calendar. Without it, this whole work-life balance would be shit.  
7. I am grateful for authentic relationships with people who care. It wasn't always that way. 
8. I am grateful for the people who actually take the time to read this. 
9. I am grateful for the birds who provide the soundtrack to my morning.
10. I am grateful for opportunities to grow. 

Of course, there are a myriad ways to give thanks, but this is a fine way to dip your toe in the sea of gratitude. 
So today's mission, if you choose to accept it, is to  say "thank you" in any way that you can. Say it. Show it. Live it. What are you grateful for today? 

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. " ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

The road to happy living is paved with interesting twists and turns and a healthy dose of honesty. Here's a little bit of my latest. It's raw. To thine own self be true. 

I'm starting to get my elevator pitch down and with more ease. I can now sit tall, look someone in the eye and with confidence tell them why I won't be accepting my recent admission to graduate school. 

"I'm going down the road less taken," I say. 

I vacillate between feeling passionate about my decision and trembling with overwhelming doubt. Even the slightest experience knocks me off kilter. 

Last night I met a woman who, in the 1980's, almost won a Mazda hatchback car but instead won a Mary Kay package on The Price Is Right. No kidding. She showed me the video. 

Today, that same woman lives a privileged life as the National Sales Director of Mary Kay Cosmetics.  She's been privileged to drive 15 pink cadillacs and has been a conversation piece for Bob Barker twice. Once when she was a 21-year old contestant (Bob had brown hair back then) and 12 years later when, a grey-haired Barker referenced her success as a credit to his show. 

This woman and her husband of 36 years took a special liking to me. I was articulate, intellectual and "not your typical server." No offense taken. 

Their story of faith, family and fortune fascinated me. Their kindness signaled a genuine connection, a look into the crystal ball of my own life, maybe.  Just like that I came home, lip trembling, tears welling up- Should I be looking into the Mary Kay Empire? Why did our paths cross? Was God trying to tell me to pursue cosmetics? I was confused.  Am I even supposed to be writing? 

Currently, any stable faith in myself is short-lived. The only thing that restores my shaky house of cards is a loving fiance who reminds me that I love to write, that I've always talked about this sort of thing. But have I? I'm not sure. 

Still, the words "I'm not going to graduate school" come out of my mouth and I am writing. And reading. And reading about writing. And posting. 

Something is stirring. It's terrifying. It's schizophrenic and it feels like something I could get used to. 

Sitting in th bookstore today I think I cried, laughed out loud, thought of three short story ideas and witnessed my future self receiving a spot on The New Yorker's list of 20 Under 40,  all within a 20-minute span. 

Sitting here today I remembered the times I wrote just to write. Traipsing across Europe documenting the sights and smells, making up stories about my server while eating breakfast in Midtown Atlanta, scribbling my coked-up soul on to anything that would hold ink including the refrigerator which, turns out,  soaks up permanent marker surprisingly well. Journaling, reading,writing, thinking. I've done this off and on for years. 

When it comes to writing, I've never consciously turned on the faucet and left it running. I've always been too afraid to flood the house. Too worried about ruining all the things that lived inside.  I'll never be able to replace what's there. Or will I? I'll make too much of a mess. I won't have any place to live. I could lose everything. 

I'm so dramatic. But, it's true. 

I don't know what's going to happen by choosing this path. All I know is that, at this moment,  I'm definitely not going to graduate school. 

I was never one for silence or for sitting still. In fact, it's really hard for me to do both. I've got a loud mouth and I'm constantly jiggling something- my foot, my leg, sometimes my whole self. If I'm not doing that I'm daydreaming (how Aquarius of me), conquering  my to-do lists or biting my cuticles. What I’m saying is that silence or stillness, for that matter, are certainly not my default setting.

However, it has been brought to my attention that meditation is a key component to happy living. So, in my quest for happiness, I have made a commitment to make time for quiet reflection and meditation each morning. This is much easier said than done. Meditation takes discipline, another quality that does not come naturally to me.

I'll be honest. I've only really started taking responsibility for myself about three years ago (yes, I'm 30 years old and yes, three years ago is accurate). I'm a spiritual kindergartner. I'm just a babe in the woods when it comes to this kind of stuff.  Still, I want a meditation practice.

I've read too many books by too many people who lived many, many years ago in separate places of our vast world who all say the same thing: Happiness is an inside job. The key to the Universe is within you. Look inside yourself.

 I began the year journaling my experiences. I also decided I would try to go on some sort of retreat at least once a month, even if just for a day or few hours.  Nothing went as planned. It all went to shit by February.  I have journal entries for three days. That's it.

January 2, 2011
15 min. meditation. Stomach gurgling. Heart rate up due to the two cigarettes I just smoked in rapid succession. My blog name showed up. Gathered some light to set my intentions.
* I do have January 2 to credit for finding my blog name. It's about the small victories, right?

January 3, 2011
Meditated for 24 minutes, 13 of which my mind ran completely amuck. Brief periods of stillness. Am I trying too hard? Feels like I'm playing hide and seek with God.

February 11, 2011
Made it to the Starrette homestead for a miniature retreat. Turns out I'm the only person here today. Looking forward to being silent. My intentions for today are to release my negativity and receive guidance. Let go. I have no plans except to listen.  

It is now March and I've made minimal progress. Apparently, meditation practice takes practice. 

I do believe that it's all about finding what works for you. There are so many techniques, tips and tricks out there that would alone make my head explode. The first step for me is to get quiet, rather, find time to get quiet. For me, that means waking up early and having those few moments alone.

What do I hope to get from this?
I want a connection to the still small voice. Some people call it intuition, your gut, your soul’s voice.  All I know is that my head cannot be making all the decisions. What swims up there is not meant for real life. It’s a bad neighborhood. No one should go there alone.

The still small voice is the machete that hacks through the tangled jungle of my thoughts. It’s the lighted pathway that shows me where I should go next. It’s the feeling that tells me, “this is right, go with it” or “this is very wrong.”  It’s my parental guidance and I need that.

Life throws curveballs all the time and I am constantly bombarded with the social pressures of what I “should” be doing. The still small voice is my answer to all that.  

My next post discusses the latest decision I made to pursue my happiness. It wasn’t an easy one. Let’s just say I’m headed down the path less taken. Grab your machetes- it’s going to be an adventure!